In self-improvement efforts, we often look to external motivation:

  approval,   duty, or   fear of letting someone down.

Over time, that external scaffolding can feel hollow or even oppressive.
 

When you frame gratification as intrinsic enjoyment, you’re inviting growth in a different direction:

• “What feels good or meaningful to me—even if no one is watching or praising?”

• “What part of this task actually delights my senses, sparks my curiosity, or aligns with my values?”

  • (And sometimes we aren't even aware of these values until we go down this road!)

 

Examples:

• Savoring the smell of a clean kitchen for yourself, not because a guest will notice.

• Appreciating the rhythm of typing an email or the quiet satisfaction of a neatly folded stack of clothes—not just the checkbox.

• Finding a private sense of competence or beauty in a small, well-done action.

 

This shift gently disrupts the pattern of outsourcing motivation to external approval. Over time, it can help us experience habits as self-chosen and nourishing, rather than duties imposed from outside.

 

(And this aligns with empowerment.)